IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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