i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
