My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
