I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
