THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
