I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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