Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
