I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
