also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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