Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
