I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize