i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
