My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
