I cannot find my penis.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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