Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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