is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
