thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
