I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
