and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
