Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
