Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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