This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
