What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
