we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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