it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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