when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
