no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Never joke about your clitoris.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
