real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
