if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
