i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize