She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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