the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
