Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
