I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize