We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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