I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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