im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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