O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
