i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have demons in me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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