WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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