fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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