You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
