i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
