Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
