I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
false alarm, still single
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
