Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
