Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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