So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
