Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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