hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
