im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
