pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
