Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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