i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
