trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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