I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
