Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
