You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
