In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
