OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
