I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
