Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
