I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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