At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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