Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
