1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
