talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
